BEST SOAP: EastEnders (BBC1, 8pm).

Why does Christian have to go round in a vest all the time?

We know the actor who plays him, John Partridge, has nice arms – but can’t he find an acceptable shirt to wear every now and then?

Bradley and Stacey get a shock from Max and Ian is unbelievable when he invites Lucy’s boyfriend and mother round for dinner. But it is funny.

BEST CRIME: The Bill (ITV1, 8pm).

PC Sally Armstrong commits the cardinal sin of getting too close to a case when she comes across a young woman who was abused as a child by her uncle. The thing is, there is no proof. Detectives drag the uncle in for questioning but when they don’t get far, Sally lays into them, earning herself a ticking off from Gina Gold: “Now go home and go for a walk!” Instead, she goes out on the lash. Oh dear.

BEST DRAMA: Harley Street (ITV1, 9pm).

This lot seem to be better at exchanging meaningful glances and welcoming someone from their past back into the surgery than actual doctoring.

Tonight it’s Martha. Her ex is a top surgeon . . . but there is something not quite right about him. Last in the series.

BEST NEW: The Cup (BBC2, 9.30pm).

It’s a strange little comedy this, a mockumentary about an under-11 football squad and their squabbling, competitive parents.

A host of familiar faces, such as Steve Edge from Phoenix Nights and Tanya Franks from EastEnders and Pulling, are amusing in parts but this is probably best enjoyed by football-mad parents themselves.